Storylines In Vikings Training Camp

Harvin signed, kind-of

Rookie WR Percy Harvin has signed a five-year contract worth up to $14.5 million and $8.5 million guaranteed. The contract is currently in the process of being approved by the NFL due to some language problems in the contract.  However, Harvin can still train with the team.

Harvin has already taken snaps at QB-along with Chester Taylor-as the Vikings are working on a version of the wildcat offense. In addition to time at receiver and running back, Harvin has received punts. The Vikings need him to touch the ball as much as possible without taking too many touches away from Adrian Peterson. And while some expect Devin Hester part two, Harvin bringing something to the return game should be considered icing on the cake since he never returned punts or kicks in college.

Not saying he can’t be Devin Hester part two, though.

About Harvin, safety Tyrell Johnson said, “He’s a blazer. He’s the fastest guy I’ve seen on the field yet.”

 

Loadholt’s job to lose

Second-round pick Phil Loadholt was presumably drafted to start at RT and every indication is that will happen. He has taken the majority of first-team snaps instead of incumbent Ryan Cook. Loadholt-and second-year center John Sullivan-need to perform at a high level in order for this offense to succeed, and that has traditionally been hard for young, inexperienced offensive lineman. They could be exceptions to the rule. Hopefully.     

 

E.J. is Back

MLB E.J. Henderson has returned from injury, and might not have lost a step. Head Coach Brad Childress has said, “I swear he’s faster.” At camp on Thursday, he made the defensive play of the day according to Judd Zulgad of the Star Tribune. It might seem like this defense does not need E.J.; after all, they finished first against the run despite his season-ending injury in week two. But a healthy E.J. is vital to their success; he could’ve been the difference between fourth down and Brian Westbrook scoring off a screen pass.

 

The QBs

Tarvaris Jackson’s sprained MCL has healed enough for him to return to practice. Sage Rosenfels is there, too. It’d be nice if one of them turned into a good quarterback, soon.

 

Sidney Rice—still here

Rice has added weight to his skinny 6’4” frame. If he can begin to utilize his talent and body to his advantage (and stay healthy), Rice could sneak up on oppositions on the way to a big year. A common thought is that the third year is the make or break year for a receiver, and this is Rice’s third year. A productive Rice would also ease some of the quarterback’s burden, whoever that poor bastard ends up being.

About This Whole Brett Favre Thing…

Alright, who is to blame?  Isn’t that always the question?  Who do we blame.

There is the narcissist from Mississippi.  There is the lazy media. 

And then there is us. 

What a twist, right? It got all Twilight Zone up in here. Didn’t see it coming, did you? Yeah, you didn’t see it coming.

But we are the ones to blame. I’m going to meander to that point in about 500 words or so, though. I tend to get “wordy.” Feel free to go YouTube some Seinfeld clips. 

Back to the meandering. Let us first consider one Brett Favre.

Nay, let us first consider Steve Young.

Steve Young was forced out of football because of injuries, mainly concussions. If he took one more hit his cerebrum was going to decay into a jelly mush. He would’ve played longer, and wanted to play longer, but he couldn’t.

Currently, he is one of but a handful of television football analysts who can form an articulate sentence without the aid of a teleprompter. Also, Young can read a teleprompter.

Brett Favre can’t go three words without throwing in a “ya know,” just like a Playboy bunny. He thinks Wranglers are comfortable jeans and quitting pain killers is a good idea.

Am I saying Brett Favre is dumb? Yes, yes I am, ya know.

Not only is Brett Favre not smart, but he was playing professional football before we knew how depraved Bill Clinton’s sex addiction was.

I’ll be here all week, and don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Anyway, add the God complex that any human being would have contracted from being “Brett Favre in Green Bay,” and that he is a guy who enjoys fart jokes a little too much.

Put simply, Brett Favre’s words just shouldn’t hold much weight. 

He’s a dumb, punch-drunk jock who just wants to keep playing, but is just smart enough to know he probably shouldn’t. This is nothing new.

It says something that he’d be a vast improvement over the current crop of Vikings quarterbacks.

The Media—which I heard has eight legs, 13 tentacles, five heads, and the only copy of the Erin Andrews tape—has always deserved more blame for the annual Favre summer fiasco.

Stop talking about him. Stop putting a camera and a microphone in his face, and forcing him to respond to every rumor. Stop following his wife to the supermarket and giving dissertations about how her choice of Tombstone pizza over DiGiorno’s means he’s coming back. Stop reporting hearsay, gossip, conjecture, and anything Ed Werder says.

But here is where the problem starts.

Corporate media cares about two things: ad revenue, and the first thing I said. And ad revenue is determined by ratings, webpage views, magazine sales, etc.; and all of that comes from us.

Ratings, webpage views, etc. are closely monitored and Brett Favre stories obviously get the most eyeballs. They wouldn’t talk about him as much if more people were listening to stories about Maurice Jones-Drew. 

So we’re the problem.

Told you I’d meander to a point.

We need to go watch some baseball. Go spend time with the family. Go find a copy of the Erin Andrews tape that isn’t a trojan horse virus. Live a little.

Obviously, I’m joking; who wants to spend time with their family or bother worrying about a computer virus. I’m only trying to say we need to stop paying attention to the story.

If there even is a story anymore.

Here’s the situation which we should all be able to agree on: Favre wants to keep playing, he is a five-year-old blonde beauty contestant in a 40-year-old man’s body, he wants to play in Minnesota, Minnesota wants him to play there because (sadly) he would be the best quarterback on their roster, but everyone is waiting to see how his arm is feeling at the end of July.

Simple. See what I did there? And this has seemed pretty obvious for awhile now, Trey Wingo.

Anyone can read the tea leaves here.

And we should all know that given Favre’s “Heck, no one else has walked on water, but if I try hard…” ways, his arm will probably feel good enough. And if it doesn’t, at least he was honest about it.

Granted, Tarvaris or Sage would certainly have an interesting season ahead. And if interviews of Aaron Rodgers are any indication, an interesting couple of seasons.

But we can wait for a little bit—hopefully until the end of July—before talking about him, how many interceptions he’ll throw, and how he’ll still help Adrian Peterson.

Or talking about what a terrible offseason ordeal the Favre dance must’ve been on whichever Vikings QB wins the job.

For now we don’t have to talk about him, or listen to the media talk about him, or talk about how much the media talks about him, talk about how talking about him is so annoying to talk about, or how the media talking about him so much is so annoying.

Ironic to have that last sentence in an article talking about Brett Favre, isn’t it?

The whole thing is a joke, though. And not even a good joke.

You should have just YouTubed some Seinfeld clips.

« Previous Page